Are you getting ready to walk down the aisle with the person of your dreams? Have you and your partner talked about all the in’s and out’s of being in a lifelong relationship? It’s normal to be unsure about getting married. That’s why preparedness is crucial!
Check out the following talking points…make sure you and your partner are on the same page and know what each of you is wanting before saying “I do!”
TALK ABOUT CHILDREN
Discussing whether children would be in your future is extremely important. Do not assume, however, that if your partner is thinking no or not sure, that their mind will change.
TALK ABOUT RELIGION
Discuss your religious beliefs. You need to know if your future partner shares the same ideas about religion as you. If your beliefs differ, make sure you are both on the same page and respect is in place.
TALK ABOUT FINANCES
Money is the number one reason for divorce. Make sure you have an understanding of what type of spenders and savers you both are. Meeting with a financial planner before the big day is a great way to get it all out on the table.
One thing to do before you get married is to live on your own, if possible. Living alone is a huge responsibility. You need to see that you are can handle all that it entails and know you have the ability to take care of yourself.
Family is going to be a big part of your lives together. You want to know that you can both maintain decent relationships with extended family members. Discuss boundaries when it comes to family. It is important to be on the same page that the two of you are a team.
Get your self set-up in your career. Get comfortable in the working world and your position. Discuss with your partner about career goals.
GET OVER PAST RELATIONSHIPS
Do you have an old flame that still burns in your mind? If that is the case, or if you are carrying any baggage around from past relationships know this; They are taking up space in your heart. Give yourself the closure you need before getting married.
Coaching/counseling may sound crazy when nothing is wrong, but many couples have said it is “one thing they did before getting married and that it has made a huge difference in their relationship.” A coach can help squash any issues and give you tools on how to communicate and argue fair. Talking to a professional may help you to determine if you are truly ready to get married.
TELL THE TRUTH
If you have any secrets now is the time to come clean. Fess up! Secrets are not the type of thing that you want coming out after you are married.
VACATION WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
Once you are married most of your vacations will be spent with your partner. Take the time now to have a great vacation with your best friend. It is not super important in order to have a great marriage, but it sure would be fun.
LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS
If everyone is telling you this person is not for you, then they are seeing something that you are not. Love is blind and selective. It is common to only see what you want to see. Also, having the idea that the person will grow and change is a common error. The truth is, it is not very likely that all your friends are wrong or jealous of your happiness. Find out what they are seeing that you are missing and re-evaluate the relationship.
STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THEM
Now is the time to accept your partner…the good, the bad and the ugly. Marriage does not turn boys into men or girls into women. It does not teach anyone how to not be a slob anymore, how not to go on shopping sprees, or end a love affair with football. If you cannot fully accept who your partner is, now, in the present moment…walk away.
Being married is not easy, but it is also not designed to be difficult. Sure it takes some adjusting and things can get rough from time to time, but if you have taken all of the above into strong consideration, then it will be much easier.