Why Is She Not Initiating Sex?

Are you in this situation?

Tired of initiating sex all the time? Wondering why your woman is not putting her hand down your pants?

WARNING: There are times and places to ask your woman why, and while in bed with her is NOT one of them. Try over a dinner when she is not so exposed or feeling fragile.

Asking a woman why she does not initiate sex is like asking her why her breasts never filled out or why she does not suck dick better. The question itself is heavy enough to push even the strongest of egos right off a bed.

It is completely understandable to ask the question. Before you do so here are some likely reasons why she is not initiating.



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The female body needs a bit of tender loving care to fully open up.

Has your woman ever said that she is feeling a lack of connection or closeness with you? Do you feel her withdrawing?

If this sounds familiar it would be completely understandable why she is not initiating and turning you down.

Intimacy is a huge factor. HUGE!

If this issue is not tended to, do not be surprised if your penis is never touched.

Intimacy takes time, and re-building intimacy even takes more time.

Intimacy has to do with:

  • connection
  • respect
  • communication
  • honesty

Any healthy relationship has to have these four things present, especially if you want sex.


He is not in the mood.

Okay, I realize this sounds ridiculous and you are probably wondering if your woman knows you at all. But this is a real thing. It is totally real.

Woman’s egos can be very fragile.

Especially when it comes to putting themselves out there, sexually.

Women have been raised to believe that if they make the first move they are a slut. So in turn, if their man is not initiating there must be something wrong.

They are not sexy, not attractive, they did something wrong. She certainly would not risk rejection, so she will opt out altogether.


Now this one may be confusing. But there are times when it can be nice not to be pursued.

It is hard to feel like making a move if there is never an opportunity. It can be important for a woman to not constantly be pursued.

You want her to initiate sex?

Make some room for her TO initiate.


Your wife, girlfriend, partner is showing no interest in sex?

It is rare that a woman would be interested in a “wham, bam, thank you man” situation.

If you’re wondering how to make your partner want you more, then you need…

Mutual foreplay, a build up, a wanting desire is a pretty much shoe-in.

Sex should be like a wonderfully engaging conversation between bodies. Both bodies need attention, touched, fondled, caressed, bit, spanked. Autopilot sex is not connective.

Who wants to carry on a one-sided conversation? There would be no incentive for a woman to initiate if that is what is coming. (no pun intended)


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Women understand that it is equally their responsibility to initiate sex. (or at least they should)

But how to do it is a totally different issue.

There could be an invitation, but what if it is not done right and the man does not pick up on the signs. It can be a slippery slope. The idea of trying again and keep pursuing it can be really scary.

There is pressure on you, the man to initiate.

Remember the key points. A woman needs to feel connected to you.

A woman needs to feel like you want her, not just a vagina.

Be an equal opportunity sexual partner.