If you’ve had codependent relationships in the past, the chances are high that you’ll enter another one. Now you know you want to steer clear of those types of relationships. You need to know what to look for to prevent another codependent relationship. Those red flags, blaring sirens, and signs are there. That’s exactly what you’re going to learn in this article.
Signs You May Be Entering Another CoDependent Relationship
Is there a natural flow to the conversation? if the communication does not flow, this is a sign that it’s not the relationship for you. This is something you will be able to recognize from DATE ONE.
You don’t need to say to yourself, “This was only the first date, things will get better, we were both nervous” None of those things are true. Many people that have a history of codependent relationships will ignore the sign and keep at it in order to form the relationship that they want.
FYI: it’s never gonna happen!
Pretending to be someone else
Do you feel on edge? Do you feel like you’re not good enough for this person? Do you feel like you need to sit and listen and be a good person to prove your worth? If that is the case, this is not the person for you. And, in most instances, this is a sign you’re not ready for a relationship.
FYI: to seek out a healthy relationship, you need to be confident and own who you are and not feel the need to change to please someone else.
Does this person present IRL as they did while texting/messaging/phone/whatever communication? If they seem different, if they say they’re laid back and happy, but in person, they’re angry and bashing people, they’re showing their true colors.
FYI: a person will always tell you exactly who they are. It’s up to you to pay attention and believe them.
If you meet someone/dating/communicating/with someone and it feels very intense and surreal love, at first sight, run fast away from it. It’s not to put down a reality that that type of love does not exist; it can.
FYI: We all want the ‘fairy tale’, but the chances that this person is in a bad codependent relationship ready to happen is more likely than that prince or princess.
Fill in the blanks
The final, and we are pre-dispositioned to think this way—do NOT, under any circumstances, fill in the blanks.
Now, what do I mean by “fill in the blanks”?
Let’s go back to number one where we say, ‘Maybe he was nervous/just got out of a bad relationship/had a bad day—all of those things are filling in the blanks.
The bottom line is you don’t know. Not unless you ask. If you’re worried about asking, then, this is not the relationship for you.
Have you ever seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”?
Pay attention to everything we’ve been told since we were younger. You know, the usual, “He hit you because he likes you,” “They’re shy,” “They’re not used to expressing their emotions,” and all the etceteras.
What that did was give us an excuse to convince ourselves this is the right relationship.
FYI: if you’re not comfortable asking the question, then this isn’t the relationship for you. Or it’s the beginning of a codependent relationship.
When in doubt, Life Matters Coaching is here to help you. Your first consultation is free so give us a call!