Most of us have, at one time or another, been in an unhealthy relationship. Whether it was just a bad connection, toxic, or it didn’t work out and faded on its own, the experience shapes how we look at the next in our line of relationships.
If you’re hoping to break your unhealthy relationship cycle, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s explore a healthy relationship and how you can maintain it when you’ve found it.
It’s A Piece Of Cake
I’m going to stop you right there. Finding and maintaining a healthy relationship takes work. It’s a series of ongoing conscious decisions to nurture that communication, trust, respect, and intimacy.
In actuality, it’s harder to keep a relationship healthy than it is to be in an unhealthy one. You already know what to expect with those unhealthy relationships: fighting, complaints, energy drainage. Those constant battles are emotionally and physically exhausting.
But, when you’re in a healthy relationship, the work must be put into it, so it remains healthy.
Bad Vs. Good Communication
In an unhealthy relationship, typically, communication is awful. Mixed signals to verbally abusive. But, in a healthy one, you’re able to speak freely. Even if that means telling your partner, you’re unhappy and knowing the response will be positive. When it’s a newer experience, being on the same page as your partner can be overwhelming.
When things are going as they should in a healthy relationship, you want to make the person who’s making you happy.
It takes a different kind of energy to maintain that healthy relationship. It won’t exhaust you because you know that person is on your side and will never hurt you for sport.
What About The Baggage
You must consistently check yourself to ensure you’re not bringing old baggage into a new relationship. Because, whether you realize it or not, you are. And, you need to leave it at the door.
The tools you learned while maintaining that old, unhealthy relationship won’t work in this one, and it has no business there.
For, Not Against You
You might be used to feeling like you’re not being supported. Maybe your past partner was constantly finding fault in you or went out of the way to hurt you.
In a healthy relationship, your partner is with you, taking care of you. They’re there for you without a battle.
You need to understand that you can trust this person despite everything within you rebelling against that, fighting it. That’s called self-sabotaging. There’s no need to test the waters or self-sabotage. You want and deserve to be happy, though. And this person wants to be there for that.
Lighten Up
You spent too much time feeling like you were in a pressure cooker, never knowing what reactions you would get. Walking on eggshells brings heaviness into your life.
But things are different now. This relationship is healthy and happy. So, enjoy it and try to ignore that nagging worry in the back of your head. Love and happiness? That shouldn’t be such a huge thing to wrap your brain around!
Trust Your Gut
When you’re coming out of an unhealthy relationship, you worry you can’t trust yourself and get into another bad relationship. Your guard is way up like a fortress, and you keep people at bay to avoid hurt.
You left a manipulator, and now it feels like you’re becoming one. You need to trust your gut. If your gut is telling you, “Hey, I’m happy, and my needs are being met,” then you need to respond by saying, “OK, I’m finally good,” and go with it!
Rules For Maintaining A Healthy Relationship
Laying down some ground rules can help avoid turning that good relationship into another unhealthy one.
- Avoid swearing at each other.
- Don’t threaten or make conditional threats.
- Don’t bring up past relationships.
- Don’t dwell on past mistakes.
- Never fight in the bedroom.
- Never go to bed angry.
- Always respect each other.
- Always talk it out.
- Show appreciation and love.
- Be open and honest.
- Put in the effort.
- Do things together.
- Spend some time apart.
- Give each other space.
- Be there for each other.
- Avoid playing games.
- Be authentically you.
- Recognize each other’s love language.
- Be patient.
- Show how much you value your partner.
If you’re stuck in a cycle of unhealthy relationships, then maybe it’s time to seek professional help. Call us for your free consultation today, and let’s get you on the right path.